


Lois Lane Obsessive Reporter

by Napstaspook



Category: Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman, Smallville, Superman (Comics), Superman - All Media Types, Superman: The Animated Series
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Clex - Freeform, Crack, Crazy lois, M/M, Secret Identity, Secret Relationship, alternative universe, worst day ever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-27
Updated: 2018-08-27
Packaged: 2019-07-03 08:22:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15815103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Napstaspook/pseuds/Napstaspook
Summary: Stalking your crush is not all fun and games, especially when you're Lois Lane and in love with Superman.





	Lois Lane Obsessive Reporter

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a challenge between my friend and I: **Give Lois the worst day!**  
>  I almost feel bad for doing this to her, but not really.

 

* * *

_Please note that I do not own any of these characters, I just borrowed them to ruin Lois' day._

* * *

Lois was mad, no strike that she was furious. The reporter had never been this disappointed her whole life, and it was all the local superhero's fault.

When the manager from superman's favourite Walmart called her an hour ago about some new Superman footage, this was not what she had expected to find.

Superman rarely bought anything from the stores of Metropolis, but when he did, Lois knew about it. She had every store in her pocket and a list of everything Superman had ever bought:

  * 5 pens
  * 2 Baguettes
  * 3 Sandwiches
  * 1 Ty nant (water)
  * 1 Warrior angel comic



And now for the newest addition to her list:

  * 1 bottle of lube



From the broken expression on Lois’ face as she watched the clip, the old man that was in charge of said Walmart, had patted her back and told her the hero in question must've needed it for a ‘tricky jar’. Like Superman would need fucking lube to open a jar, Lois had just wanted to scream.

“Get rid of it!" Lois had shouted in the man's face before she left, abruptly running off with tear stained eyes.

From there she headed straight to Clark's apartment, her dork of a partner always cheered her up.

Maybe now that Superman was out of the picture, she'd actually give Clark a chance? He was so obviously in love with her it was embarrassing sometimes.

‘No’ she quickly reminded herself. She would never go that low, no matter how heartbroken and unwanted she might be feeling.

She'd just break his heart eventually and Smallville didn't deserve that. Clark was too naive for his own good, and not even Lois wanted to take advantage.

* * *

Finally at Clark's apartment she goes for the knob without knocking, but the door doesn't budge.

‘That's weird,’ Lois thinks.

‘Smallville never locks the door.’

Good thing Lois still had the spare key from that time she… uh stole it.

She unlocks the door and quickly slips inside only to be met with moaning noises and the smell of sex.

On Clark's ugly red sofa facing away from her, she can see black hair in a slight motion moving up and down, almost disappearing behind the cushions. Lois can't help but let out a gasp at the scene before her, and the owner of said black hair snaps their head up in an inhuman speed. Shocked blue eyes locks with hers and she can't fucking believe it.

It's Superman having sex in smallville’s apartment. It's Superman having sex with Clark? Clark fucking kent from Smallville, her journalistic clutz of a partner with no fashion sense?!

“Lois! I can expl--” Superman begins with a pained expression, but Lois doesn't want to hear any of it.

“Have you been fucking Clark kent this whole time?”

“Yes, I'm so--" Superman confesses and Lois sees red.

“So sorry for leading me on? For letting me think I had a chance with you while you were having sex with my partner the whole time? Or are you just sorry I found out?" 

Superman just stares at her dumbfounded and half in shock.

“Well... Apology not accepted!” Lois yells and throws the spare key in the wall. She slams the door shut on her way out, not caring whatsoever if she broke the damn door. 

* * *

Clark sighs and looks down on his grinning boyfriend.

“I can't believe she actually thought you were fucking yourself!” Lex laughs. 

**The end.**


End file.
